Book of Moments

I had a post in my head of what I wanted to say but now I have forgotten what I was going to say, so I suck :(

Ten things I want:

I want more days off to lounge about...

I want sunshine and just a little warmth...

I want another cat...

I want to go somewhere new and do something exciting...

I want hash browns...

I want my shoulder to stop hurting...

I want intra-ocular implants...

I want a Gaetano sandwich...

I want a text message/email/comment/smoke signal/whatever from someone unexpected that says that they are thinking of me/fantasizing about me/dreaming of me/lusting after me and I am pretty cool/cute/sexy/fun and they want to have coffee/sex/conversation/torrid internet love affair...

And I want them to mean it and follow through with it...

I was talking to Doug the other day and I told him that what I miss the most about the butthead ex is having someone else that I could call and talk to about random nonsense... It sounds weird, but I miss the empty conversations that would last for an hour or more... and by empty, I mean conversations that were just rambling about music or books or TV or movies or philosophy or games or the internet or whatever... not "meaningful" conversations about health or work or whatever... we had those, too, but I miss just having someone else to just joke around with...

And finding someone else to do that with is hard... so many guys are trying so hard to be sensitive and good listeners and sympathetic that I can't seem to find anyone who is fun to talk to... Someone who is interesting and has opinions and makes me laugh...

It's discouraging, but oh well...

With my current obsession with OKCupid, I'm sure I can find someone to talk to, right? Maybe I need to make a new test -- something with a wider interest-base :P My obscure trivia test was a little too hard, I think... I bet my brother would score high on it though... he has a brain full of obscure info like me :P

I am cross-posting this from my other Thingie because I want to be sure that the Car Gods hear me:

Dear Car Gods,

Please find the person who hit my rear bumper and smite them upside the head. Not only did they hit my car, they stopped to see what they had done (the area that was damaged was wiped clean) and then left anyhow.

Please fuck them in the ass with a chainsaw. Thank you.

I am over my most recent ex.

Mostly.

:(

I wish I could say it was 100% but it's not and that sucks...

What can I do to get over someone? Advice? Suggestions? Volunteers? *grin*

So, thanks to a comment on my previous post from my cracker-niece (heh :P Just teasing, Angst!), I realized that not everyone who might read this knows the current status of my life...

I am still happily married to Doug, the greatest guy on the face of this planet... Seriously I could NOT imagine my life without him... And I have realized that there is no way I could make it through life with my sanity and happiness intact without him...

I recently broke up with the dickhead ex-boyfriend... I don't want to talk about it and I hope that he falls off a cliff and gets eaten by a pack of rabid chipmunks... OK, maybe not that but I still hope that karma comes back and bites him hard in the balls...

Doug and I still live in relative bliss with our two insane kitties who are getting more insane with each passing day... We just got a new (to us) car and will probably end up having to move before we manage to get the damned thing paid off, which will suck...

I am still poly, I am still bi, I still identify as a submissive (even though it feels like it's been a million years since I have done anything kinky outside of the everyday dynamic of my relationship), I am still trying to find a long-term relationship with someone stable, sane, fun, funny, secure, communicative and honest who doesn't want JUST a sexual relationship... and I am still a nerd :P

That should bring everyone up to speed, I think...

So, everything came back squeaky clean... got a full screen done including HPV and it's all clear... and I feel 100% better because it's been 6 months since we broke up so not only was I clear in October, but I am clear now... Maybe I'll see if my doctor will let me get another battery of tests done at 1 year just to make sure :P

I feel better... now I just need to find another long-term boyfriend, but this time make sure he isn't a fucking psychotic asshole...

Too long out of the loop... Do I even know anyone in the Portland scene anymore? Can I really still call myself kinky when it's been more than a year since I have gone to an event or party or anything? Sure, I have my Daddy/girl relationship and that is not vanilla, but I worry that I don't fit in anymore... Did I ever really?

Too long out of touch with people that were my friends... That was my fault and I don't blame them for moving on, but I regret it... *sigh*

Too long since I have had anything good to write about...

Too long since I have seen people and done things and gone places...

Too long... but not too late, right?

I just watched a music video and I have decided that drummers are hella sexy... I love when they do that thing when they spin the sticks between their fingers... I am such a sucker for cheap parlor tricks *grin*

I'm thinking of going to Vegas soon for a vacation of sorts... I need to visit my parents and I could use some time away from Home... I wonder if I can find any fun while I am out there *grin* Anyone want to set up a clandestine interlude? I don't really care if it's all that clandestine, really *grin* Just mutually satisfying would be OK... hee hee!

Just when I have written someone off as not interested in me, they pop up again... I think it's his super-hero power -- Keeping girls off-kilter and interested *grin*

This random thought was brought to you by the letters J and T and number 14.62449

Let me try to make this simple:

I am polyamorous/non-monogamous, which means: I am happily married to a wonderful guy, but I also date, have sex with and play with other people. It is not a "Don't ask, Don't tell" arrangement. It is not a "Married, but cheating" arrangement. We are totally honest with each other and he will usually meet whoever I am going to date and vice versa.

Due to the nature of our relationship, there are rules that will need to be adhered to if you want to date/fuck/play with me. I will explain the rules before I get involved with anyone just to make sure that we are all on the same page.

IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THE RULES YOU DO NOT HAVE TO FOLLOW THEM -- But, if you don't want to follow the rules, then we won't date/fuck/play. WE CAN STILL BE FRIENDS, WE JUST WON'T BE HAVING SEX. No big deal, right?

If you can't or won't follow the rules set by someone that you don't respect, that's your right and more power to you... Just understand that you and I won't be dating or having sex if you can't follow the rules...

And if the only reason that you wanted to be friends was to fuck me, then what kind of friendship is that?

OK, so my other mundane journal is back up, so I am gonna limit this one to my dating and other adult activities again... Go to my other journal if you want normal stuff :)

Thanks for stopping by during my involuntary hiatus :)

A friend put this on her MySpace Blog so I decided to steal it... Don't bother telling me in my inbox cause who am I hiding anything from on this journal? Anyone who reads it knows my proclivities, so feel free to put it in my comments... unless you're shy and want to tell me in secret =P

What would you do with me?

If you had me alone... Locked up in your house for twenty-four hours and I had to do whatever you wanted me to, what would you do with me?

Tell me in my inbox, because it's a secret. Then repost this... You might be surprised with the responses you get... They could make you laugh or even blush! If you don't repost this you are a coward... so do it!!

Somehow or another, my LJ template got changed... It turned into a weird black and purple thing that I didn't like at all, so I had to change it...

I decided to go with fluffy and pink cause it is so very me, but at the same time, so very NOT me... strange, but true! I think I'll change my avatar, too...

If I get tired of it, I'll change it to something else, but for now, it's pink, fluffy cuteness!!

Rejoice!

My friend G made himself a wolf pet at bunnyhero labs so, I decided to make my own pet... I made two, actually... one for here and one for my other journal.. My other pet is a pig, and you can feed him and spray him with a water bottle... but I like my hamster, too :) The cat is cute cause you can tease it with a ball on a stick and other pets have ways to interact with them that are fun :)

So, a friend of a friend was asking for song suggestions and I listed some songs that may or may not be useful... Here are the lyrics for the songs I suggested...

( Rock n' Roll Lifestyle )

( Box Set )

( New Kid (On The Block) )

( Golden Lights )

I heard the song "Tear You Apart" by She Wants Revenge this morning on the radio and even though I only heard it once, it stuck with me the whole day...

How can I not love a song that speaks to me so clearly...


He wanted to do things to her - it was making him crazy
Now a little crush turned into a like
And now he wants to grab her by the hair and tell her

I want to hold you close
Skin pressed against me tight
Lie still, and close your eyes girl
So lovely, it feels so right

I want to hold you close
Soft breasts, beating heart
As I whisper in your ear
I want to fucking tear you apart



*shiver* How delicious... Just the purity of intent in the phrase "I want to fucking tear you apart"

They're playing in Portland on March 11... maybe I'll go :)

So, I talked to MacD last night about Kinkfest and he is just not interested in going, especially since he'd have to take time off of work to attend... so it looks like I am on my own at the event... I hate being by myself, but I think I will be OK... I mean, Mr. G will be there (working at a vendor table) and it's not like I won't know ANYONE... I'll just have to try extra hard to be friendly and approachable :) That gets me in trouble sometimes, but hopefully i won't have any new issues with the wrong people taking liberties that they ought not...

I won't be staying down there as I only live 25 minutes away, but I am sure that won't be an issue... I wonder if Mr. G will be getting a room? Maybe I can crash there... Too bad I only have a GC for one night at the Benson... it would be so cool to be holed up in a swank hotel like that during a kinky event :)

Oh! And the title of this entry is cause Mr. G doesn't believe that I will actually be playing with anyone at Kinkfest and says he wants film footage or to personally witness any fun I might have... *laugh* He has so little faith in me and my ability to follow through... Hopefully I can prove him wrong WITHOUT photographic evidence... though a souvenir has its appeal *laugh*

(cross-posted to my other journal with a few small edits)

"... You're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater." - Shepherd Meria Book (Firefly - Episode #105 "Our Mrs. Reynolds")

( LJ Cut cause not everyone wants to read my ranting )

I love this journal entry... a friend of mine sent it to me to make me smile and it worked...

Advice for people diving into BDSM personals

( For the link-following-phobic )